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Written by Mark Alkire (AHRMA # 108)
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Tuesday, 02 June 1998 |
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As a child I always eschewed team sports. Not only because I was a clumsy, meek spaz, but because individual achievement seemed a better barometer of a person's worth. Now I know that even the most singular sport, Motorcycle Roadracing, requires a copious amount of teamwork to keep the ham on the racetrack.
After the failed Kawasaki race programme of '96, I swore that if I were to ever race again, I would do so on a BMW. The Kaw was so unfamiliar to me. It ran poorly and I lacked the ability to mend it or ride it properly. Norm Blore bought the "Green Bean" and with a little money and his experience, eventually won with it. As the long months passed, I watched on with envy as Norm, Frank, John, and countless others careened around the track without a care, Volvo, or cop in their world. Then I saw her.
The "Norwegian Police Blue" R75 had sneaked into Touring Sport and was pushed into a dank, sepulchral corner in the back. It whimpered softly and cast a sheepish look over its shoulder, expecting more ridicule of its hundred pounds of luggage racks, crash bars, and escher-like throttle lock linkage. Her eye brightened and she sucked her gut in slightly when she saw my drunken, lust filled expression. "This will become Evelyn, the Modified Dog!" I ejaculated loudly.
She was absolute perfection: A rickety old R bike that couldn't cost much and could be "race ready" in three weeks before the last AHRMA round at Roebling Road in Savannah, GA. I would have to finish two races that weekend to qualify for the Vintage races at Bike Week the next March.
Then the work began.
(Almost) every day, after my ten hour shift at work, I came to Touring Sport to prepare the bike only to find that the elves had cobbled all the shoes -- no, wait, wrong story -- only to find that Frank had already completed most of the maintenance that required mechanical aptitude, leaving me only the safety wire and front end work. With Troy's indispensable and patient help and Andre's parts forecasting and research, we finished the preparation of the bike (Note: Apart from timing and fluid changes, the engine was completely stock and we had no idea what condition it was in.). After polishing the open Dunstalls and installing the bodywork (beautifully painted by Ken Driggers), we attached the seat (graciously covered by the Bucket Stitch at the last minute) and I was ready to race -- or was I?
Race Day: 15 Nov 1997
The day dawns clear and cold. Most of Faulkville is a lake due to the week's rain. John Rickard scans the infield, a tall gaunt statue, choosing a location to grandstand his aquatic riding skills. Norm had loaded my bike, gear, and his paddock palace onto his trailer and driven me down the night before. I am ready
I seemed strangely at ease that morning. Perhaps brand loyalty or faith in our work kept me relaxed during practice. I gingerly tiptoed around the track trying to get a feel for it while staying out of everyone's way. When I finally started upping the pace, the motor started making a funny slapping, clicking, ticking, tacking, popping, clanking, pinging sound and started losing power. If discretion is the better part of valor, cowardice is the better part of discretion: I pulled into the pits. While my friends were still watching Frank practice, I knelt next to my bike trying to divine the problem by staring fixedly at the valve cover. Getting nowhere and feeling defeated, a voice voiced behind me. Another BMW racer who was pitted across from us asked me what was wrong. After hearing my description of the sound he told me it was an impending failure of my con-rod bearings. I was crushed. How could I possibly finish my races now? Frank had to concentrate on his racing and I had never been into a boxer before! Dreams of Daytona wafted away like the smell of bad feet or good cheese.
The fellow racer who came to help is Mark Mitchell, a Photographer from Richmond, VA. He told me he had the tools to change the bearings but had no bearings. By this time Frank had returned from practice and discovered my plight. Being the juggernaut he is, he said "Dammit, yer not gonna miss that race!" Calling in favors, pulling strings, scratching backs, and fiddling with knobs he drafted Steven Miller (son of Ivy Miller, a BMW rider) to make the half hour trip to Tybee Island to pick up new bearings from Ron Small's shop. Mark brought the special tools and know-how I needed to tear the motor down. We then found that the inside diameter of one bearing was much larger than the outside diameter if the crank. The other bearing's circumference was interrupted several more times than the factory recommended number. John and Joan Novelli pulled the oil pan and fished out the naughty bits. Bob and Sharon Minton, Norm, Jim Hayes, Mary Cocke, and Helen Caviness helped with logistics and support. John Rickard, Mark, 'Possum, Mitch Caviness, Ivy, and Frank helped me put the new bearings in and button the whole thing up. And we were ready to ride -- forty minutes before my race! Due to selfless teamwork, I only missed one lap of practice.
Over the course of the races and practice, I started improving. With Norm and Mitch recording my lap times, and Mark advising me on tire pressures and showing me the good line, we took eleven seconds off my lap times. Frank couldn't lap me anymore and I mounted an attack on the HD XR750 at the back of the pack. Alas, he had too much HP, but I'll get him at Daytona.
Without the help of everyone mentioned, I could not have had this jewel of a weekend. I thank all of you sincerely:
All the gang at Touring Sport, GRRR, Norm Blore, Ken Driggers, Ron Small, Mark and Rebecca Mitchell (sponsored by Moto Europa), Bill Brown, Bob and Sharon Minton, Helen and Mitch Caviness, my parents, John and Joan Novelli, Ed Johnson, Ivy and Steven Miller, John Rickard and Pat, Jim Hayes, Mary Cocke, and Laura (for the booze).
This was originally printed in THE CODPIECE: a monthly newsletter for the Upstate South Carolina BMW Motorcycle club. You may know us as the Conebutts (or KEGEL ARSCHES). For club info call Carla at (864) 422-9166 |
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Last Updated ( Friday, 08 July 2005 )
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